I Can Breathe Again

Dear ones -

Yesterday was emotionally taxing, as well as physically draining. Not totally surprising.

Les and I got up at 4:15 a.m. (four hours earlier than usual, I’m embarrassed to say, but we are old) and readied ourselves for the trip to the hospital.

The registration and prep time seemed very much like same old, same old of prior excursions.

The surgical waiting room seemed same old, same old, too. I worked a Jumble, a Sudoku, and five crossword puzzles. Almost two and a half hours passed.

Suddenly the puzzles could no longer distract me. When the familiar fear that perhaps Les would not come out of this surgery jammed itself back into my consciousness, I grew faint and almost threw up. The physical reaction was as unexpected as it was powerful. I began pacing the floor.

Several minutes later, the doctor came out and gave us good news – although it was more difficult than he might have expected, the procedure had gone well.

I exhaled.

I spent the night on a hard chair by Les' bedside overnight and listened to the music of his breath. This afternoon we came home – he with a sore chest and I with a very relieved, but bruised heart.

Only time will tell if this newly-minted biventricular pacemaker disrupts his heart failure sufficiently for him to have a decent quality of life. We are cautiously optimistic.

But I grow ever more aware of mortality – especially his. 

Thank you for your prayers, cards, good thoughts, hugs, and other support. 

Much love, Lois

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

karen sutherland 11-02-2014, 21:47

oh, Lois,

I am so happy and relieved that the procedure is completed and that Les is home with you. I send you both BIG HOPE, my best thoughts for comfort and for healing. he is there, you can touch him, listen to his breathing, hold his hand, and be each other’s loves. I know you are savoring every moment with gratitude. be sure to take good care of yourself, too.

much love and light to you and Les.

Karen xoxo

Reply
Beth Gainer 12-02-2014, 13:16

Lois, I’m so glad the surgery went well. I am keeping you and Les in your prayers. xoxo

Reply
Lois Hjelmstad 12-02-2014, 16:32

Thank you, Karen and Beth. This has been such a roller-coaster. I’m hoping we can get off, at least for a while.

Reply
Name (Required) 27-02-2014, 22:04

You’re both very strong. Best wishes for a speedy and very successful recovery.

Reply
Lois Hjelmstad 28-02-2014, 12:59

Thanks, Cory. We try to be strong. It’s hard, sometimes.

Reply

Leave a Reply