This morning I read a great post by Dr. Ann Becker Schutte about survivor's guilt. It is difficult to see other breast cancer patients diagnosed with metastasis. (However, not nearly as hard for us as it is for them.) It is hard to see loved ones die as we remain NED and very much alive. And I have often felt that as we "celebrate" our survival we are somehow dishonoring those who have not survived.
While I certainly have had my share of "survivor's guilt," sometime I think of it this way:
Eventually everyone has illness, sorrow, death in their life. Everyone's turn comes. My guilt does not remove the suffering of the person about whom I feel guilty. My sorrow does not heal those who are bereaved – they still have to travel that journey as best they can. And I definitely believe that I should help where I can and empathize when I can, but I have also realized that my turning myself inside out to do so doesn't necessily translate into the other person's being made whole.
My turn has been here before and will come again. Meanwhile, I try not to spoil the good fortune of a given moment when a good moment appears.
These are just some of my thoughts. Dr. Becker Schutte's post and the many wise comments will probably help you a lot more!