My models for marriage were not flawless.
Although of course I didn't really know (can one ever really know about someone else's marriage?), I did not view the marriages of several couples in my early life as being especially happy. Some of them indulged in long, uncomfortable silences when they were angry or hurt. Others barely tolerated one another. My grandparents had not shared a bed since they were surprised by their sixth child.
I knew I wanted to be able to share my deepest thoughts with whomever my future husband would be; I wanted him to be my best friend, there for me when I needed him; I wanted to write poems for him and have him understand. I wanted more. (Excerpted from This Path)
And of course, there in my teens, I thought that knowing what I wanted would make a marriage perfect. No surprise there. I thought I knew everything.
It turns out that our marriage is not perfect. But it has lasted 64 years,15 days, and counting. And Les and I do have a few more tips that have helped us:
- Understand that no partner in a marriage is 100% wrong.
- If you think you hate him, watch him sleep and gently touch his face.
- Try to go to bed at the same time each night; play kissy-face.
- Realize that sex can be a rite of forgiveness.
What strategies have you used to improve your marriage?
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