Married 65 Years Today
Today it is 65 years since Les and I married. Our church magazine had asked me to write the story of our lives and I'm sharing that with you today. It's longer than I like my blogs to be, but, hey, it's our anniversary! And it is 65 years.
It was one of those weird butterfly effects. What if Les’ grandparents had not migrated from Norway? What if his oldest brother, Magnar, had not left North Dakota, run out of money in Colorado, met and married a nice Mennonite girl? What if his next brother, Harold, had not visited Magnar, met yet another nice Mennonite girl and married her? And what if Les had not visited Harold and Doris??
Lester Sigvald Hjelmstad came into the world on a farm near Ryder, North Dakota, some ninety-one years ago, the seventh of eleven living children born to John and Mary. The Lutheran Church baptized him when he was six weeks old. He attended a country school across the road from the Hjelmstad homestead until he was fourteen. At Ryder High School he became BMOC (Big Man on Campus), lettered in four years of football, and captained the team. He also lettered in basketball three years and went out for track. He presided over his senior class. After high school, he worked in the Civilian Conservation Corps for eighteen months and then helped his father and neighbors with farm work until he went into the U.S. Navy whereupon—as he always told his children—he single-handedly won WWII.
Meanwhile, when Les was eight years old, Lois Luene Tschetter was born in Webster, South Dakota, the first child of Paul G. Tschetter and Bertha Nikkel Tschetter, both of Mennonite heritage.
Lois lived in Webster, attending the Methodist Church, until she was twelve when she moved with her family to the Black Hills of South Dakota.
In 1944 the family moved to Denver and joined First Mennonite Church in 1945. Lois attended South High School, where she was IGOCWOAT (Invisible-Girl-on-Campus, Wallflower of All Time). She graduated valedictorian of her class of 721, but no one noticed.
Les and Lois met at FMC in November 1946. Six months later Les took her home after a social gathering. And that was that.
They became engaged in four months and married eleven months afterward. Lois was still seventeen. Les joined FMC on February 1, 1948.
At first Les and Lois lived and worked for $150 a month on a chicken ranch in Lakewood,Colorado. They were offered that ranch for $13,000, but there was no way to come up with the $1300 down payment. Now several businesses and a famous restaurant grace those thirteen acres. Oh, well…
After two years of watching the dang chickens smother themselves just as they were ready to market, Les went to work at Gates Rubber Company in Denver, first as a tire builder and then as a supervisor. He ended up working there for thirty-seven years, twenty-six of those on graveyard shift. Meanwhile, Lois worked at National Hartford Insurance Company for three years until Karen was born.
Bob, Keith, and Russ followed. When the kids were seven, five, three, and one, Les and Lois moved into their current home in Englewood, where they have lived more than fifty-four years. They are not ones to make quick changes.
Their lives have been centered in church, where Les was an elder and served on Council for fourteen years. One summer he took his only two-week vacation and taught Vacation Bible School. Lois taught VBS and was Sunday School superintendent. She also served as church organist for seventeen years. For at least thirty-nine years they attended every service, until they realized the walls wouldn’t crumble if they weren’t there.
Les and Lois credit their faith for cementing their shared values: intending to follow the teachings of Jesus in service and daily life, living simply in a harried world, supporting issues of peace and justice, and giving at least ten percent of their gross income to causes beyond themselves.
In 1961 Lois began teaching piano to Bob because she and Karen were already taking lessons and the family couldn’t afford to pay for his. Soon neighborhood kids joined in. As her music studio built to sixty plus students a week, Lois participated in a number of college pedagogy courses. This accidental career hummed along, in one fashion or another, for forty years.
The real children grew up and established careers and families. The piano kids kept coming; Lois planned to teach until she was ninety-six. Les retired at sixty-five, returned to college, and studied his main interest – history, especially Civil War history. He earned a degree, shaved his mustache, and got a job. No, wait….
In 1990, a year after being diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, Lois' breast cancer diagnosis jolted her into writing. She and Les formed an independent publishing company and Fine Black Lines: Reflections on Facing Cancer, Fear and Loneliness was first published in 1993.
A niece invited her to speak at Good Samaritan Hospital in Phoenix and that launched another accidental career. Lois has spoken more than 600 times in all fifty United States, England, and Canada. Les has driven 400,000 miles in the process. Lois still gives talks locally.
In 2002, Lois finished The Last Violet: Mourning My Mother, Moving Beyond Regret. A tenth anniversary edition of Fine Black Lines came out in 2003.
For their 50th wedding anniversary, Les gave Lois two diamond anniversary bands. She gave him thirty-six poems and promised to write a book for him. Fair exchange?! It took twelve years, but in 2010, This Path We Share: Reflections on 60 Years of Marriage was released. All three books will soon be eBooks.
Lots of serendipity, lots of butterfly effect, lots of luck.
On September 12, 2013, Les and Lois celebrated their 65th anniversary. And how does one remain married for sixty-five years? Simple: fall head over heels, live long, and stay crazy-in-love.
*****
We are exceedingly thankful for our longevity, these many years together, our beloved children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, extended families, friends, and church family. You have supported us during these years in one way or another and become a strand in the fabric of our lives. We have been undeservedly fortunate beyond our wildest hopes and we take this occasion to give thanks for our multitude of blessings—and for each of you.
As for the future? We continue our walk toward the Light. With love, Les and Lois
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Comments
Lois, enjoyed your recount of your amazing life. It was a great honor to be one of your many piano students. You have touched many lives in a great way. Blessings to you and your whole family. Kris and I are right behind you with 28 years of marriage. Ariana at 23 is applying to medical school in mexico and probably starting in January, Jazmyn 21 is graduating in December with an elementary education degree. Addison 17 is a senior and 6’4″ playing volleyball. Joshua at 16 is working full time and getting his GED. My dad – Don is living with my brother Brad and his family west of Golden on their acreage. Farley is in Seattle with his second wife and both kids now in college. Hugs
Oh, Julie – How wonderful to hear from you! And thank you so much for the update on your great family. Also loved hearing abut your brothers and Dad. Give everyone our love.
dear Lois,
oh, how I enjoyed the story of you and your wonderful Les, now celebrating 65 years of marriage. my favorite part: and how does one stay married for 65 years? simple. fall head over heels, live long, and stay crazy-in-love. congratulations to you and to Les; you have written and lived a wonderful legacy for your entire family, and it will inspire legions of them and their families to cling to love, to work hard, to believe in the meant-to-be-ness of it all. thank you, Lois, for sharing such a beautiful love story.
love and light, XOXOXOXOXOXOX,
Karen, TC
Thank you, Karen, for your kind and gracious words. I hope you are managing okay. I almost feel as if our not-yet-finished story must be hurtful to you and yet you send such love. Bless you.
dear lois,
hugh and I were married for 45 years, and we remained completely ga-ga over each other. we loved it whenever we met other couples, married and so much in love. when you have that, and it is so wonderful, you just feel thrilled for others that have it, too. so no worries – you are so kind and sensitive, but I know if hugh could read your story he would be as happy for you and les as I am. the whole purpose of life really is LOVE. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO, karen
Lois, how well you continue to write. Our family continues to be blessed having known you and Les. Both Stefany and Heather have children taking piano lessons because of their rewarding experiences with you (but no one serves the frosted cookies with sprinkles 🙁 ). May their marriages, and ours, continue to be as rewarding and satisfying as yours. What a wonderful story–and portrayed so beautifully.
Blessings to you both
Another Karen with beautiful, encouraging words for us! Thank you so much. And I’m happy to hear about the piano lessons. I loved those frosted cookies with sprinkles, too. That’s probably why we served them. And I do send blessings for the three marriages in your family and wish longevity for all of you.
What an amazing story! Valedictorian of a class of 721 students. Then teaching over 60 piano students… I enjoyed having Rusty in my Sunday School class some 50 years ago.
Jan and her family were so very good to us while we lived in Colo. Roy & I have been married 55 years as of Aug. 23rd.. Roy is a stroke survivor since 2005. We are thankful we still go on trips
and have good times with family and friends.
Love,
Janet & Roy
How nice of you to respond, Janet. “Rusty” is now a physician in Traverse City, MI. He graduated with an MD/PhD from Duke University. And bless you for teaching him in Sunday School. He loved you. I’m sorry about Roy’s stroke, but happy you can still do some fun things. Take care of yourselves! I’m happy to be Facebook friends with you.