Lois Hjelmstad

Lois Hjelmstad.com

Compassion and courage for the times you need it.

Checkup

The checkups still cause
a tightness in my chest–
a primal fear

Every three months
the doctors poke and question–
Any bone pain?
Appetite OK?
Muscle weakness?
Headache?
Nausea or vomiting?

Every six months
the lab tests and x-rays question, too–
CBC? CEA? LDH? CA 27-29?
Shadow on the screen?

Each time I pray for
"within normal range"
and wonder
what I will do
if the answers
are wrong
again

(Excerpted from Fine Black Lines, (c) 1993, 2003 Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad)

One Response

  1. Yes~
    Those check ups???

    I recently had my 20 year check up~

    I call my check ups my yearly …
    wake up call>>>
    To remind me what is important…
    and, what is not~

    Thru the year…
    I seem to want to just ‘be’
    In my old comfortable shoes>>>

    But, my yearly check up~
    Puts me in ‘new’ shoes…
    and, reminds me
    What I learned >>>
    thru my journey with breast cancer.
    It is my “New Normal”>>>>

    My prayer is always,
    “Thy will be done.”
    And, please give me strength~
    It is bigger than me~

    In summary, what gets me thru :
    “Fear knocked at the door…
    Faith answered..
    No one was there.”

    Breast cancer is a hell of a teacher…
    Many, many life lessons…
    And…yes, blessings too~
    But, sometimes…
    It’s like, Oppps what was that???
    Oh, it was a blessing~
    Still, I am humbly grateful~
    And, would change nothing~
    It is my journey .

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