Lois Hjelmstad

Lois Hjelmstad.com

Compassion and courage for the times you need it.

Unwanted Anniversary Part 3

My journey with chronic fatigue syndrome continued and continues. I wrote of it again in This Path We Share: Reflecting on 60 Years of Marriage. This small excerpt shows some of the ways we coped: "We eventually learned that while some patients recovered from chronic fatigue syndrome, many did not. However, I was determined not to lose […]

Unwanted Anniversary Part 2

After my diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome, I was embarrassed, mortified. What had I done to cause it? Had I worked too hard? Was I too much of a Type-A personality? Please let me continue the excerpt from Fine Black Lines: "Aside from Les and our children, I told no one about the diagnosis for two years. I tried […]

An Anniversary I Didn’t Want

Today is April 6. Twenty-four years hasn't made a lot of difference. I wish it weren't this particular anniversary. Nothing much has changed. And yet everything changed.  Let me share an excerpt from Fine Black Lines: "On the morning of April 6, 1989, I had an unusual sense of well-being–renewal was evident in the cherry […]

Hierarchy

Last week I read an excellent post from Marie Ennis O'Connor on "Is There a Hierarchy Among Cancer Survivors?" Then this week that discussion was followed by another excellent post and discusssion at Regrounding. Even though the topic has been quite thoroughly and thoughtfully covered in these previous posts, I'd like to add a bit.   So, is there a herarchy among […]

Just Stay Positive?

"You will be just fine" has long been a problem for me. No matter what horrendous circumstance one is facing, what one needs is support and validation, not cheer-leading. Discounting a person's feelings and implying that everything can be solved by being positive does a great disservice to the ill or injured or depressed or bereaved. […]

How Can We Be Loyal Friends?

I found a wonderful post about loyalty over at http://pinkunderbelly.com (click on Loyalty on the right side. Nancy talks about feeling the loss of a favorite baseball player being traded and most of us can relate. I certainly can. Just when I get to know a player and develop an attachment to him (because he is a […]