Lois Hjelmstad

Lois Hjelmstad.com

Compassion and courage for the times you need it.

A Widow Faces Some “Firsts”

My beloved husband, Les, died on June 25, 2020. I was too numb on the Fourth of July to even realize it was a “first” holiday. The flag from his military service at Ft. Logan National Cemetery lay abandoned on the bedroom hutch; the boom, boom, booms did not reach my ears. By our 72nd […]

Death of a Friend

Almost two weeks ago, I had a distinct nudging to visit a friend of ours.  Les and I have belonged to a small support group through our church since 1969. Of the original nine couples and one single, seven of the men and three women had died. Floyd, the one remaining man beside Les, had been having […]

Questions No One Should Answer

Telling Knots has a great post on the thoughtless questions people ask of breast cancer patients and how people try to find reasons for illness and/or death. Somehow we think that if we can assign blame and identify what the patient did to get cancer, we will know what dumb things not to do and therefore we will be safe […]

Just Stay Positive?

"You will be just fine" has long been a problem for me. No matter what horrendous circumstance one is facing, what one needs is support and validation, not cheer-leading. Discounting a person's feelings and implying that everything can be solved by being positive does a great disservice to the ill or injured or depressed or bereaved. […]

Why Am I Alive? Why Is She Dead? No. 4

The White Horse (for Ann) Death comes on a white horse to carry you away I see the love in Her eyes as she lifts you carefully and cradles you in Her arms You go willingly, eagerly, even though you know you can't come home again (Excerpted from Fine Black Lines (c) 1993, 2003 Lois […]

Why Am I Alive? Why Is She Dead? No. 3

Shoreline (for Ann) Everything seems so distant now Is Life receding or is Eternity approaching? (Excerpted from Fine Black Lines, (c) 1993, 2003 Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad)