Lois Hjelmstad

Lois Hjelmstad.com

Compassion and courage for the times you need it.

Death of a Friend

Almost two weeks ago, I had a distinct nudging to visit a friend of ours.  Les and I have belonged to a small support group through our church since 1969. Of the original nine couples and one single, seven of the men and three women had died. Floyd, the one remaining man beside Les, had been having […]

Unwanted Anniversary Part 3

My journey with chronic fatigue syndrome continued and continues. I wrote of it again in This Path We Share: Reflecting on 60 Years of Marriage. This small excerpt shows some of the ways we coped: "We eventually learned that while some patients recovered from chronic fatigue syndrome, many did not. However, I was determined not to lose […]

Married in September (3)

(continued) Because my maid of honor had no more money than I did, I had borrowed a pale green bridesmaid's dress from another friend. (Les and I each had only one attendant, except for those two cute little candlelighters.) And today is the 64th anniversary of the day that my mother, while pressing said dress, burned a hole […]

Just Stay Positive?

"You will be just fine" has long been a problem for me. No matter what horrendous circumstance one is facing, what one needs is support and validation, not cheer-leading. Discounting a person's feelings and implying that everything can be solved by being positive does a great disservice to the ill or injured or depressed or bereaved. […]

Why Am I Alive? Why Is She Dead? No. 4

The White Horse (for Ann) Death comes on a white horse to carry you away I see the love in Her eyes as she lifts you carefully and cradles you in Her arms You go willingly, eagerly, even though you know you can't come home again (Excerpted from Fine Black Lines (c) 1993, 2003 Lois […]

How Can We Be Loyal Friends?

I found a wonderful post about loyalty over at http://pinkunderbelly.com (click on Loyalty on the right side. Nancy talks about feeling the loss of a favorite baseball player being traded and most of us can relate. I certainly can. Just when I get to know a player and develop an attachment to him (because he is a […]