Checkup

The checkups still cause
a tightness in my chest–
a primal fear

Every three months
the doctors poke and question–
Any bone pain?
Appetite OK?
Muscle weakness?
Headache?
Nausea or vomiting?

Every six months
the lab tests and x-rays question, too–
CBC? CEA? LDH? CA 27-29?
Shadow on the screen?

Each time I pray for
"within normal range"
and wonder
what I will do
if the answers
are wrong
again

(Excerpted from Fine Black Lines, (c) 1993, 2003 Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad)